Weekly Mandala: Coagula

{8x8,  Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

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Weekly Mandala: Coalesce

{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

Weekly Mandala: Struggle to Restore the Matrices

Struggling for balance amidst depleted resources, chaotic event fluctuations, and violent external oppositions.

I will be called a madman because we do not understand what is happening.

Sometimes you get really far out on the tree limb and you aren't sure if it is going to support your weight.  I've been doing a lot of that for the past two years more out of necessity than anything else.  It was either take some chances or wither to death slowly in the life I was leading.  If I am crazy, I'd rather be honest about what is in my heart than cover it up with some fabrication:

I have enormous scary thoughts that threaten to swallow myself and others.

I see people as minefields and make it my job to see through them because I have trust and control issues and am very easily damaged by the wayward words of others.  

I'm afraid of large crowds because it is easy for me to lose my sense of self and therefore lose control of the beast I call "me".

Neverhome

The realization settles in on me again that I am in a place where I do not belong...and as before, I am required to leave this place that is not my home.

From the Archives: Sun Moon

This represents the crystallization of the link between the Sun and Moon, the unification of the conscious and the unconscious.  Diving deep into the unconscious for the Philosopher's stone, the marriage of Heaven and Earth, as above, so below.  This is an image I created for an event poster.  The Sun Moon in the center was later used as a basis for a tattoo design.

Recommended Listening:
Data Romance
The Deep
Data Romance

 {Sharpie}

Passage of the Dark Daughter

I begin to understand.

I have found my way.

Without words,

Without reason,

I went blindly inside,

Fingertips feeling through the unending night

And found safe passage to the sky.

I found my way.

Not of this world and all its answers,

Not of sight or of numbers or of phones,

But of the ocean inside my veins.

The pressure of my pain and fear

Burst me like ripe fruit

And open,

My glistening seeds fell into me.

I look back at myself in wonder,

I found my way!

There is nothing you can give me

There is nothing I can hold to.

The way is all that matters now.

I thought it lost to time and torture,

But I followed the waters,

Oh blessed patient waters.

I found my way!

I slip beneath my waves

And into my indigo depths.

I undulate like my heart

And feel only the within.

The endless within.

The quiet dark part of me speaks.

{Digital images manipulated with Photoshop}

Update 05-12-12
Recommended Listening:

Lisa Gerrard and Pieter Bourke
The Circulation of Shadows
from Duality

Solve et Coagula: The Grid

The symbol repeated here represents a great deal for me, but the basis of it is the alchemical formula of Solve et Coagula.  Dissolve and Coagulate.  Expansion and Contraction.  Pushing away and Drawing to.  Increase and Decrease.  It is the essence of Duality within the spirit.  The pump of the Heart.  The Rhythm of Sex.  

The single image on its own is kind of my take on the eight pointed star of Chaos Magick.  However it resonates more strongly with Solve et Coagula, but both can be true.  ;-) The longer I have the image around the more I keep finding new meanings attaching themselves to it.  Somehow in my head this is connected with Robert Anton Wilson's and Timothy Leary's views on reality tunnels.  I haven't worked all the bugs out on that one yet so I'll have to get back to you on that.  I suspect this symbol will be with me for awhile and possibly showing up in other works...so there's time. 

This was my desktop for awhile, but it is a little challenging to look at day in and day out.  However, if you enjoy optical effects, make it your desktop and stare at it for awhile and watch what happens.  :-)  Be sure to look at the larger version of this...the jpg thumbnail that blogger created seems to have blurred a bit and upset the contrast of the original image.

{created in Adobe Illustrator}