Weekly Mandala: Tempering Passion

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Dream Diary 102913: The Floating Library

I am seeking a book on the angel Haztkiel?  Hatzkiel?  In the library, I float up to the next level to get the book. This area has complex dome and two corridors running off to either side.  The shelves in this area are floating.  I cannot see the floor.  I find the book.  It does not have the cover I wanted but the print in the book is bigger.  It is a nice volume.  I found it in the occult studies section. The section is crowded.  There are lots of people there students?

I wake.

Weekly Mandala: Passionflower

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Dream Diary 122114: The Show Police

I am in a large corporate office building. All the walls are white. We are near the front of the building which has large floor to ceiling windows. Everywhere there are men and women who are dressed head to toe in solid black costumes. The costumes are somewhere between a Las Vegas show and an Icecapades show in style. Each person wears a headdress that covers the sides of their face with a decorative glittering silver snowflake and swirl pattern. The women's costumes cover the entire bodies except for the small oval of their faces and have cape like elements underneath their arms. These people are the internal police for the corporation in this building.

There is a job culling occurring. Most of the staff have been shunted into a large meeting space for a “reeducation meeting”. The “show police” have formed a line and are slowly pushing those who are being fired out of the building. The head of the company comes out from behind and stands at the center of the line as the last person is forced outside. Outside it is raining and overcast. No one seems to understand why any of this is happening. The entire process seems rather underhanded and fascist.

I tell some of the others I am with to come with me so we can get out of there. We are in a car driving around the backside of the building. Dramatic changes have already begun. The road behind the building they've already begun repaving. It is an arcing curve that goes down behind the building and its construction is that of a concrete trench. The corporation has begun filling it in, but it is only partially complete. We crash into the fill, but it has not hardened yet so it is soft and does not damage the car. We try to back out, but some others were following us and we have to wait for them to get out of the way. They are driving strange machines that look like complex red backhoes.

Now I am in an office with the head of the corporation. The interior is the same as before – all white. I give an impassioned speech about the people that have been let go and how they worked hard for this company that is now just tossing them out like trash. The head of the corporation agrees with me and relents. I am unsure if he is welcoming the people back, but he is certainly agreeing to something. There are scientists within the room.  They are wearing white lab coats.  They are removing dead corn stalks from a testing bed. The stalks have been dead for some time.

I wake.

Dream Diary 062114: Madonna, Memories, and the Halloween Tree

I am in a theatre with lots of people. Madonna is there.  As she is leaving she kind of makes fun of me for actions I took when I was a fan of hers. I eat a weird pie that is mostly re-fried beans. Nacho pie?  I talk to a lady that says she and another couple hang out with Madonna regularly. The woman is a strange turtle lady with a weird flat neck thing.  I rub her neck thing.

Night at the house. Young friends. College? It is an old friend's house. I look outside. One of his dogs has found a way through the backyard fence and has run out.  It is harassing other neighborhood dogs.  I go to tell my friend about his dog, but we talk about weed instead. He says he has stopped smoking completely. I tell him I am not chronic anymore just occasionally. We recount old times.

I have a memory of following behind a pizza delivery guy wearing a backwards ball cap. His car is a convertible.  A police car comes over the hillside with lights flaring.  The pizza guy is on the wrong side of the road and faces off with cop's car. The cop passes. The pizza guy's hat flies out and away. He stops to find it.  We stop our car to tell him where we saw it land.  He is blonde with short buzzed hair.  Back at the house, everyone is exploring the basement. I miss the tour.

An old boyfriend is soaking in a bathtub. I run outside to decorate the Halloween tree and put out "take one" signs for the toys and candies hanging there.  There are little skeleton signs that say take one and lots of skull designs. Most everything glows. The house is wrapped in black plastic. When I go back inside he is under the water face down. Drowned?  Meditating?

I wake.

Dream Diary 121714: Big Snow and the Invisible Dog Thief

I am moving through a space that is equal parts small city and large map – of a gaming world? I am speaking to someone out of view and to my left and behind me. We are discussing the NPC's that his character killed. One was named Uto? Zuto? His body lies just off a small island on the map. There is a reason that we must commemorate the dead. That same island has something to do with fiction writing. A new method emerges concerning the completion of stories. It has something to do with an author taking a story to a particular point and passing it to another author. There is a feeling that the rotations are limited? Each author only writes half the story and passes it on to the next to complete the fiction?

I am standing outside an entryway to a hotel? There has been a snowstorm recently. The snow is partly melted and icy. It is very cold. We can see our breath. The entrance doors are large wooden doors with open slits at the bottom. I tell the attendant on the other side (an older man with an indian accent) that I am waiting for my old friend to arrive. He has been delayed on the freeway because of the weather.

The attendant passes a small receipt stapled to a larger set of papers through the slit and asks me to sign it. The receipt looks like one from a small mom and pop restaurant. I have trouble figuring out where to sign, there are multiple lines for such. From the noise coming through the slit, he sounds very busy. I realize that this is for some form of room reservation. I am not getting a room, but I sign anyway as I just want to get in out of the cold and he is too distracted. I am part of the convention that is happening here, I just don't want a room. I figure that we can work it out once I am inside.

There is an entry hallway inside the hotel that faces a large set of windows. The snow is falling. It looks beautiful. I can see individual flakes. They are intricate and as large as cookies. The flakes are piling upon themselves before they hit the ground, creating strange birdlike shapes. The snow keeps changing into a light rain and back again. There are many people waiting in this hallway area with their luggage. An old friend is going up to her room. I tell her that I will see her later, but that I must wait for my other friend to arrive. I can feel the cold through the windows.

I am in a medium sized room that has lots of light colored wood in it. There are three doors leading out from the area: one is a double door frame with no doors with a set of stairs leading down, the other is a regular door frame with no door, the last is another door frame with no door. There is a large pit? In the center of the room. I am setting up a store front with a lass case and lots of items. There is a feeling of Wicca / Magick about the event. I feel anxious about getting everything set up in time.

There is a large group setting up across from me at the other end of the room. There is a dark curly haired woman, older and slender. She is their leader? There is a younger blonde woman with long hair, also slender. There is a younger man to one side who is standing in a doorway. He has dark curly hair and stubble? Beard? He is the son of the older woman? There is also an older male who smiles a lot. He has stubble and dark hair. I feel he may be in a relationship with the older woman, but is not the younger man's father.

They are having trouble with their set up. There are several sculptural pieces that will not be finished for two days that are part of the display. By then, the show will be over. I move to face the display. I ask if there is a drawing of how the set up is supposed to look when finished.  I offer that, following the drawing, they might set up everything in the positions where it is supposed to be minus the sculptural portions that will be missing. The young boy from my left and behind me says that he does not work that way indicating that there is no drawing.

When I move back over to my area, I notice that my wallet is missing. A large hound dog? great dane? is walking off with it towards the door frame where the boy had been standing. The dog had been invisible until I realized that my wallet was missing. I stop the dog and get my wallet back. I recognize that the dog belongs to hotel management and file a complaint. This is the second time this has happened. When I return, the other group are hanging out at one end of my area.

I wake.

Dream Diary 102313 - 111113: Tzadkiel, a Candle, Spiders, and Suspended Animation

102313

There is a slender bearded man dressed in flowing a purple toga.  His dress is very ancient Greek in style.  He wears gold accessories and his hair and beard are dark red and long. He has several faerie-like attendants.  He walks through a crowded party.  Everyone else there stands still like statues.  Nearby there is a large decorative water fountain.  He is Tzadkiel?  Bacchus?  Dionysus?  Raphael?

102913

A woman that I worked with previously and disliked is my roommate.  We only have bunk beds to sleep in.  I am returning home.  I bring her a large white penis shaped candle.

103013

I lift up a container.  There are spiders on its underside. They are black and poisonous, but I do not read them as black widows.

111113

I am in a dark room shining a flashlight.  The cats are playing in the darkness.  I see the shadows of spiders.  The cats are playing with them but I cannot see where the spiders are.  I am anxious.

I am in a warehouse full with muslin canvas room separators.  I walk on the same aisle several times before I wake the Classic Star Trek cast from their suspended animation chambers.  They exit the suspension chambers through a large technological archway.  When they do wake, there are multiples of everyone: two McCoys, two Spocks, etc.  This activation also wakes many children who were in suspended animation.  They are all wearing international day costumes. There is lots of confusion and everyone who woke up is very disoriented.  Everyone is amazed at the number of people that were in the chambers.  I try to direct the large crowd to a temporary waiting space until we can figure everything out.

Upon waking the word Lornafan? Lornafin? is in my mind.

Weekly Mandala: Exiting the Oven

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Dream Diary 101713: Light Grey Rectangle

I am amongst a group of young potheads.  I play wrestle with their "leader".  He has a girlfriend, but the energy between the two of us is very sexual.  One of the others motion him away and they step away from me to talk amongst themselves.

They confront me.  The people? everyone? the group?  think I am trying to trap them? trick them? as in turn them into the police.  I feel a strong concern for the safety of their leader.  I tell them I am not there for anything like that.  I am lonely?  just want to be friends?  I am sincere.  They relent and welcome me.

There is a younger male member of the group who lays his head in my lap and looks up at me.  We are talking as we relax and our faces get closer together.  Our kiss is as much a kiss as it is a shotgun.  I breathe in the smoke from him.  In my visual frame, the smoke is a long skinny light grey rectangle.

I wake.

Dream Diary 101413: Are We Fighting or are We Dancing?

Marriage.  A voice says that now we must choose:  Are we fighting or are we dancing?  An old friend is present and wearing a "Cat in the Hat" hat.  It suits her personality.  She is the reverend for the ceremony?

An old friend's mother has made a power point resume portfolio for me and made an appointment for me with some company that I do not know.  We are in a darkened house.  There are two empty recliners.  There is something in the trashcan.  I had missed the appointment and there is a young girl who is angry with me about it.  She presents me with pages of documentation where I had been spied on with out my knowledge.  According to some unknown authority, I had not been doing what I was "supposed" to be doing.

I wake.

Weekly Mandala: Orgone Lattice

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Modo Cogitari: Caduceus

Energies coalesce and merge.

Recommended Listening:
St. Vincent
Digital Witness
from St. Vincent

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From the Archives: Young Saturn

An older sharpie sketch of Saturn as a young man. Although this sketch isn't visually the same as the other sketches from the Sickles Set, I feel it deals with the same themes.  All the sketches in the set were created in the same time frame.

{Sharpie}

 

 

Weekly Mandala: Cornucopia of the Four Satyrs

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Dream Diary 112914: The Infinity MIrror and Your Mama's Stick

I am in the basement of someone's house.  The room is a dark velvet burgundy color.  There are others with me: an older man with a white beard who is across from me, a middle aged woman with long light brown hair to my left whose face I cannot see, and two others who have no distinctive qualities but are present.  I cast circle to cleanse the area before we all sit.

The bearded man shares several items that he has made.  He shares a large frame with bells.  He shakes it several times.  I ask him not to as the owners of the house are asleep in the next room, their bedroom.  We can hear the couple arguing.  They are loud enough so that we can hear them through the wall.  Something is said about sprinkling a powder on to something and then she makes a disparaging comment about her husband being a homosexual.  The bearded man calls me by name and says he has brought something for me.  He shows me a shadowbox with a mirror inside a mirror inside a mirror.  When you look into it you see an infinity of reflections.  I see a tunnel of mirrors within it then it changes and I begin to see images.

Suddenly the dream is disrupted by a barrage of images.  I see police cars at night with their lights flashing and a pile of severed heads and skulls beside an old wooden table.  A man has been bringing immigrants to his home and executing them.  The man is tall with unkempt hair and a scraggly beard.  He is upstairs in the house?  He is a part of the group?

Back in the basement I am apologizing to the husband of the couple who owns the house.  I explained that I went ahead and cast the circle to get the group going.  He was okay with it.  He has long curly dark hair.  I am trying to be ameliorating as I feel we woke them up.  An old female friend is with us as we are talking.  There is someone at the house I am trying to avoid.  The serial killer?

My female friend and I exit the basement to the exterior.  I am still trying to avoid the serial killer.  I feel that we are both altered in some way, perhaps drunk.  There are a stack of wooden planks in a basket shelf on the door to the basement.  The are painted green with black writing and designs on them.  They are called something specific involving a "your mama" joke but I cannot remember the exact words.  Your Mama's asskickin stick?  The husband shows up again outside but he has short hair now and a beard.  I'm a little annoyed at his presence but he is cute.  He is wearing a barbershop quartet hat.  I think he is flirting with me.

I wake



NOTE:  There is a small section of the dream that was lost in recollection between viewing the infinity mirror and exiting the basement.  The barrage of images was very disruptive to the flow of the dream.  It was almost as if the dream lost coherence or was disrupted by an outside signal.  As the regular flow returned, a portion of the dream was occluded.

Weekly Mandala: Crossroads

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Dream Diary 111614: My Comic Book Pages and an Old Friend Escapes Judgement

I am viewing comic book pages that I have drawn. I notice a preponderance of long vertical panels and long horizontal pages. All of the pages exhibit a fine line contour work with lots of detail. Most of the pages are various states of completion ranging from pencils only to full color digital. They are from many different stories ranging from the mundane to the taboo. I am going to show them to several old female friends but I am fearful of their reaction to one of the taboo stories it involves something sexual? Something dark about my beliefs?

We all move into a large auditorium. It is dark. There are many people in seats already. They are viewing a slideshow? A movie? All of the people there are older and moneyed. My friends and I are all cramped on one side of the theatre just beyond the seats. I have my pages with me. We are all younger versions of ourselves. We are waiting for our turn to sit? I try to change into a better shirt , a sweater but there isn't much room and it is difficult. My friends get seats before I do.

Everyone is waiting for the show to begin. There is some kind of delay with the projector? Someone asked me if I will display my work in the interim. My friends are gone. I mention that I only have these pages with me and most of them are incomplete. They do not mind. As they begin setting up a specific projector for what I have with me I begin to explain my work to the lady who asked me to show my work. Not having a “real” statement prepared, I rattle off some bullshit about trying to connect fine art and sequential art. I don't believe it, why should she? She is shadowy and nearly incorporeal, not really a person at all. I struggle to get my pages in order.

I standing on a bridge leading into a castle. An old male friend is dressed as a pirate. He is surrounded by constabulary. He is being judged for a crime, Thievery? Piracy? They judged him and move on. He is to be hanged? Incarcerated? As he is judged another friend's Chihuahua runs out of the castle and across the fountain pool / moat and out. I step out of the entryway and the castle becomes a suburban house with a well kept sloping front yard. I follow my old male friend down and around to the side of the house.

He and a handsome african american man are building a barrel and a wooden crate from slated pieces of wood. I am attracted to the african american man. They are both still dressed as pirates. They are planning an escape. I am not exactly sure of their plans, but I know it involves their constructions. One of them is going to hide in the barrel?  The african american man goes around to the front of the house again. I fly up to the height of the building to see if I can follow him.

I am distracted as I am telling my older friend about a powerful story from medieval times? called “The Power and The Glory”? It is a tragedy of taboo acts and dark obsession. In the story, a queen is having incestuous relations with her son, the king, who is in turn having incestuous homosexual relations with a cousin? younger brother? and they all die in the end. I recommend to my friend that all first semester college students should read the book for its profundity. I feel that the story is relevant to their age and will “prepare” them.

I follow my older male friend around to the front of the house. He is now wearing a fetish gear police uniform, all black with a shiny metal badge. He is preparing for travel. I see the african american man again. He is with his children, a young boy and a young girl. They are happy and smiling. I am trying to delay my old male friend. He is preparing to leave without his wife. I feel desperate and clingy. There is something in the landscaping that is very distracting.

I wake.

NOTE:  When I had this dream I was not aware of Graham Greene's novel The Power and the Glory.

Weekly Mandala: Angelic Corridors

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Dream Diary 111014: Drag Queens and Squalor

I enter a large cluttered room in an old building. Everything is old, dusty, and worn. My first thought is of decay. The room looks like what might happen if an antique store were abandoned for years.  As I enter, a young smiling African American man hands me a polished knife with a black handle from a drawer and tells me to use my knife to lock the door. He and his friend go upstairs.

I have my own knife strapped to my calf.  It is a large shiny hunting knife with a light wooden handle and polished steel accents. I use the knife he gave me to lock the door. It is tricky.  There is no handle to the door but a hole with a rotating lock mechanism inside. After several tries I get the mechanism to lock into place.

I understand that this building is a kind of temporary lodging for those who have none, the downtrodden. There are several floors above this room with rooms like a hotel.  There are several young gay men hanging out by a group of three dilapidated couches. They are talkative with each other and very animated.  I try to ask them about the rooms upstairs where I can put my stuff but they do not seem to understand what I am saying. It is as though they do not understand the words room or space.  I sit on a chair and pull a cover over me. I am cold.

Each of the boys leaves the space in turn and returns dressed in stylish drag. In the end, they are all dressed in solid white drag with true blue accents: pale white makeup with blue eyeshadow and blue lipstick, chiffon platinum white bouffant and beehive hairstyles each with a single blue stripe, sparkling sequined white dresses with blue shoes and blue nail polish. They take turns posing with each other.  They are fishing for a specific complement but I'm not exactly sure what they want me to tell them so I say that they all look fabulous. That seems to satisfy them.

I wake

Weekly Mandala: Winter's Gift

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Dream Diary 102414: Slaveries

I am on a hill near the facade of a movie theatre. I look down towards the theatre and see a woman driving a car very quickly. An old friend is in her path and she hits him.  He is on her hood for a distance and then she stops and he slides off and skids across the asphalt.  I run down and call her a very bad name.  She looks at me like - who do you think you are!?  I give her the finger as I pass.

I rush past her to my friend. He seems unharmed. He has changed since I saw him last. He is dressed in goth style with blue highlights in his hair with very pale makeup. His eyes are small and red. They look slightly swollen so that he cannot see at properly. This woman is his girl friend.  He acts like everything is okay despite what just happened.

Then I am in an enclosed cage area inside a building.  It looks like the interior of a warehouse with lots of concrete and chain link fencing all around.  Young men have been kidnapped and forced into prostitution.  They are being trained to become mercenary spies / bodyguards for hire.  This is where their personalities are broken down.  The space where they are being kept is very small.  There are ten to twelve men in the space.  It is dark and there are no windows.  The boys have paired off to comfort each other.

There is a man with me.  His groin in close to my face.  I'm having a strange sensation in my legs. The man tells me it is the twins, an electric mirror energy. I perform a sex act with the man until completion.  My friends enter the door and see all this as it is happening.

I wake.

Dream Diary 110314: House to River, Snakes to Trees

I am flying unimpeded in a clear sky.  Suddenly I am inside an old house.  It is fully furnished in period style - late nineteen hundreds to early twentieth century.  It is a college dormitory?  I am trying to find someone or something in the building.  I pass a room where there is a young blonde woman reading.  It is her dorm room?  I cannot find what I am looking for nor can I find a way out of the building.

I know that I am in a dream and that if I can just get to open sky I can fly once again.  I go back to the room with the the young blonde woman and step in.  She immediately asks who I am.  I lie and tell her my name is Ann.  I explain that I am here accidentally and that I just want to leave.  I tell her that I do not mean any harm, I just want to exit via the window.  She is nonplussed and agitated.  She threatens to go gather authorities.  I tell her to do so if she must but that I will be gone when she returns.  I move past her to the window.

There are several screens and storm windows on top of the regular window.  I have difficulty getting them open, but soon I force them and am free.  I fly out, but immediately I fall into a swampy river.  There are lily pads everywhere.  I see the opposite bank and focus on getting to it.  I become aware of movement behind me.  It is a large snake - a boa constrictor?  I kick it hard in the head and it backs off.  I continue to swim.  I cannot get up enough momentum to fly out of the water.  A second snake appears and I deal with it the same way as the first but there is a brief moment where I am unsure if it is poisonous.

I climb the opposite embankment of the river and climb into field beyond.  There are large old trees there and the ground is covered in a golden weed that resembles wheat.   The large old trees look somewhat like old oaks.  I know that the trees are some other species but I know not what kind.  There is a strong wind.  I stand in the middle of the field and take flight.

I wake.

Modo Cogitari: Angel

His arrival is an arclight of wonder.

Recommended Listening:
This Will Destroy You
Little Smoke
from Tunnel Blanket

{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

Dream Diary 110214: Darkness and Zombies

It is night in a large metropolitan cityscape.  It is very dark and difficult to see.  The power is out?  We are standing in front of a large three story house.  The house is an older style with a large wrap around porch.  The house has a set of stairs that leads up into the living room from the porch area, but also down into a carport / garage that is part of the basement.  Some of us are sitting on the steps and others are standing in front of the house.

There are zombies are on the next street down rioting.  We can hear them.  We are safe but only for the moment.  Some people are treating it like fun and are going to run around the block to see what they can see.   I know the danger here and am becoming very worried.  There is a solid white dog that will not sit still.  It runs around nervously.  It is part German shepherd?  part retriever?  I'm afraid that it will begin barking and draw the zombies toward us but it never does.

It becomes clear that the zombies are coming our way.  I try to get everyone into the house.  There is a child?  A slender lady is smoking - I tell her she can hang in the doorway until we are ready to enter that way she won't get smoke in the house.  There is an elderly man who is sick sitting in a recliner in the carport / garage.  He is on oxygen?  He cannot move quickly.

One of the people who had thought it was all fun returns through the carport / garage door.  He is high and absent minded and leaves the door open.  A zombie immediately follows right behind him into the carport.  I am holding a pillow.  I don't have a weapon and there isn't anything nearby to use.  I manage to get the door closed and I'm holding the zombie at bay with the pillow by covering the zombie's head and face.

I can barely see the zombie's face.  It's very dark.  I do not know if I have it completely covered with the pillow.  I am afraid I am going to get bitten.  The carport has an open area on the side I manage to toss the zombie out and over the bushes.  It will not be able to get back in because of the angle.  I note that the zombie is very light and easy to lift.  I try to get everyone up the stairs and inside the house.

I wake.

From the Archives: Pharoah of Sickles

The Prince of Sickles transforms into the Pharaoh of Sickles.  The ends of the separated sickles have become completely polarized.  His feet, the symbols of grounding, have taken on the color of temperance, light violet.  Significant color changes indicate a new understanding and a change of element.  The wings have become more symbolic than functional as the pharaoh steps out of air and into water.

{Sharpie}

 

 

Weekly Mandala: Rosette Kaleidoscope

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Weekly Mandala: Celestial Rose

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Weekly Mandala: Flyeye

{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

Mandala Wiki ~ The Mandala Project ~ Sigil

Weekly Mandala: Matchsticks

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Weekly Mandala: Passion Beneath

{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

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Modo Cogitari: Rod of Manifestation

Diamonds of truth
are formed from seas of lava.

From the Archives: Prince of Sickles Variation

Here is the Prince of Sickles again in a new position and poised to take action.  The different ends of his sickle staff have polarized in color.  Before, the sickles had been clear and blue tinted. 

{Sharpie}

 

 

Dream Diary 092814: Surviving the Alien Invasion and Sleeping Dragons

I am in a dense pine forest far from any urban area. Beyond the edge of the forest I can see a sprawling landscape.  It is overcast and lightly foggy.  I am with a group.  An alien race has invaded the earth. Humans now scavenge the alien trash for camouflage. The armor we create looks like panko breading in texture but is a dark grey. We are following a long roadway through the pine forest and stop at a secret market to replenish our alien technology, weapons, and supplies.  There is a large room off the highway where the market is.  The room looks much like a small gymnasium.

Now I am in a swampy pit within the forest. I am trying to cross to the other side. Buried within the pit are sleeping dragons. They have been underground for many years but they are waking now as I try to cross.  Where I began, a balck dragon emerges and shakes off the swamp muck.  I fall off the snout of a large red dragon as it rises up. The dragons were all asleep under the muck and dirt and are covered in debris. I'm climbing out the other side of the pit when I come face to face with a smaller slender green dragon. 

It is neon green and has a long thin neck.  It turns me around and is going spit acid on the back of my head and eat my brain. I let go and prepare for death. Suddenly I am underwater and the dragons are being attacked by some force. There is fire and many explosions.  I swim away, surprised to be alive. I come up and out through a water purification plant? It looks like a large clear swimming pool with metallic filters at the edges.

I climb back onto the highway and return to the secret market. The room is empty. I cannot find my team. I move further back into the room.  In the back it opens onto a second roadway.  Everyone is there waiting for the bus.  The green hills there look much like the British countryside.  A friend in the group has a sister who is simple.  She has one strange eye. The aliens are trying to manipulate her by pretending to be her brother. We are all getting on a bus to leave, but she stays behind because the aliens told her her to. Luckily my friend recognizes what is happening in time and stops the bus to retrieve her.

I wake.

Weekly Mandala: Prism Peacock

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Weekly Mandala: Orgone Ululation

The dive took years of my life.
Controlling my every motion,
I swam through surging storms.
Finally, I held my breath
long enough to reach bottom.
 
I found structures beneath the waves,
but not a solid new landscape as I had expected.
It was merely a complexity of form.
Despite the extremities of their absolutes,
the dense twisting gears beneath me
and the undulant energies I floated within
were born within the same scale.

I laughed and emptied my lungs,
let my breath run free in a hail of bubbles.
I no longer needed it.

Recommended Listening:
Jóhann Jóhannsson
Tu Non Mi Perderai Mai
from TOUCH 25

{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

Mandala Wiki ~ The Mandala Project ~ Sigil

Dream Diart 091614: The Shark, the Horder, and the Hotel

I am in a medium sized yacht.  It is day.  The yacht is anchored crossways so that it blocks the entrance of the large and deep lagoon we are floating in.    There is a reason that we are blocking the lagoon entrance, but I do not know what it is.  The other people on the boat are the cast of the first season of the Walking Dead, specifically Rick and Lori.  We are all pulling a set of ropes and tubes out of the water.  The ropes are connected to something deep underwater.  Daryl Hannah is also present and is pulling the ropes at the boats edge.  There is a giant shark in the lagoon.  It looks very fake when I see it, but the fear it generates in me feels very real.  It attacks the boat because of the motion of pulling the ropes in.  Darryl Hannah is taken.

Now we are on the interior shore.  I can see the boat at the entrance to the lagoon.  Everyone except Rick has come to shore.  There is a old American west style fort a few hundred yards inland from the shore.  The people in the fort are "at war" with the people in the boat.  I know that Shane from the Walking Dead is in the Fort.  Those that make it to shore ask for mercy and fall asleep at the door.

It is at this point that I realize that I am neither myself in this dream nor one of the characters from the boat.  I turn away from the sleeping people and speak with a man who has just docked his small wooden dinghy.  I tell him that the people at the door are peaceful and looking for mercy.  He is rough looking and carries a shot gun.  Back on the boat the Shark attacks again, damaging the backside of the yacht.

Now I am in the house of a horder helping someone my sister? clean.  Most of the larger piles and furniture have been removed. We are now rearranging the remaining furniture into a livable structure and cleaning up leftover debris.  I am working with a small bookshelf.  I just started helping and someone else had put the bookshelf in place without cleaning the debris away first.  I am frustrated as I try to get at the debris without knocking the bookshelf over.  Books keep tilting and falling.

In the debris I find a small toy black cat head.  It inspires me.  I run out of the building.  It is night outside.  I am running down a hill on a trail towards my house.  I am looking for my cat.  She is black with green eyes like the toy.  She and another black cat have a reunion.  They are twins separated at birth.  They play in the tall grass.  In my house I am watching TV with someone.   It is the only light.  A voice asks if I am going to return to help clean up the horder's mess.

Now I am in a hotel.  There is a young african american woman who works in the hotel.  She is talking about the hotel and smiling a lot.  There are many people in this space.  It is time for breakfast?  I feel an overwhelming urge to be outside and head out the door.  There is a water fountain outside.  The top of the fountain is covered in strange soft edged hexagonal rocks.  I climb to the top of the fountain.  I want one of the rocks but for some reason I cannot seem to take one.

In a recessed area near the entrance there are four people.  Two dressed as superheroes and two dressed as super villains.  One of the heroes lifts her mask slightly and smiles at me.  It is an old friend.  They all climb into an older SUV together.  They are escaping?  going to lunch?  I gesture towards the car and with my magnetism powers, I dismantle the vehicle.  The people inside receive a bit of an electric shock.  A voice says to be careful not to harm them.  I set them aside and reconstruct the vehicle without any electricity.  It is now shiny and silvery but it is only the shape of the SUV and does not function.  It is sculpture.

I wake.


Note:
I have exhibited an array of super powers within my dreams over the years, but with this dream the magnetism power is new.

Also, the disembodied voice within the dream has appeared before.  It often manifests as someone speaking over my shoulder in a quiet clear voice or as a voice in my head.  In this dream specifically it seems to have taken on the role of moral conscience, but often it merely presents information other than the main thrust of the dream.  Often it will show up at the end of a dream with a specific set of information.

Dream Diary 091514: A Girl and Her Dragon

I am sitting in a tree house. The interior is rather large and decorated somewhat like a public waiting room. There is a man sitting opposite me in a chair. The windows are large and outside there is a large storm approaching. The clouds fill up much of the sky and are dark. I tell the man that it looks like its going to be a big on. I am excited.

Outside the tree house there is a small town and I am just outside the main street section. The tree house fades and I see the image of a young girl with long dark brown hair. She has several braids. From a distant viewpoint I can see her and her friends. She has a dragon but it looks more like a large bat. It is furry like a bear and more friendly looking than the usual dragon. I think to myself that I have never read Anne Mcaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern.

The young girl stands with her bat dragon and her group of young friends near what, from this distance, looks like an amusement park. There is a fence surrounding a large mountain.  My point of view is just above a bank of clouds.  I understand that the gist of her story is that in order to protect her dragon she must get “home”.   The girl? a relative? owns a substantial acreage of land where her dragon could fly free and unmolested.  In urban areas it will be feared and caged or possibly killed.

Now I am on the ground on a road. The police are looking for the girl. They are calculating which road she might have taken to get across the county. Several nondescript policemen rattle off some road names.  It is overcast and raining.

Now I am at the door of a dark bathroom. My need is great, I force my way in past a janitors cart. I apologize and announce my presence as I enter. The bathroom extends a great distance. There are many stalls. The Janitor is in the far back.  I quickly urinate and flush the toilet. When the toilet flushes, the toilet bowl transforms into a strange and complex medical technology. Floating in the water are the caps of medical syringes. The side of the bowl has measures marked on it like a large beaker.

I wake.

Note: I think my subconscious is reacting to my taking notice of the bathroom theme. The theme has begun to repeat more, although my bladder was full upon waking this time. However, the pattern of the theme has been fairly static for many years. The addition of the medical technology aspect is a new element. I've had several urinary tract issues earlier in the year and this could be a reflection of those issues.

Also, this dream was challenging to recall. I woke and did not immediately rise.  Although it is pleasant to linger in bed in a half conscious state, this has the unfortunate effect of fogging my dream recall.  There are sections of this dream where I am sure there were more moments present, specifically between the tree house and the image of the small town main street.

Weekly Mandala: Blue Lotus

In the chambers of mind,
I found that its shape would not sit
for the painting of a moment of stillness,
but shifted and gamboled in the inkling.
It ran both near and far
and laughed at my notions of direction and destiny.
No matter my reservations or protests,
it always danced.

Recommended Listening:
Jóhann Jóhannsson
Fordlândia
from Fordlândia

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Mandala Wiki ~ The Mandala Project ~ Sigil

Dream Diary 091414: Theatre Elevator

I'm in a crowded theatre looking for a seat.  I just came in the second story doors.  The performance has not yet begun.  There is a blonde man, a teacher with his class.  He and his class are already sitting in large area near the doors.  I am thinking of sitting in a seat near them.  The blonde teacher is flamboyant and talkative and I find him somewhat attractive.  His students are ambiguous dream people with nearly no identity.  As he continues to talk I realize that he is generally shallow and is talking about only superficial things.  He and the surrounding area all seem to be bathed in a bright yellow glow or spotlight.

I step away to go to the bathroom before the performance.  I bump into a friend.  The friend is nearly as nondescript as the students, but I recognize the person as a friend.  They have their two children with them, a young boy and a young girl.  Twins?  They are sitting several rows over and I decide to go sit with them, but first I need to go to the bathroom.

I exit the the seating area into the atrium and move to the left where the elevator is.  This area seems much darker than the rest of the dream so far.  I push the button and the elevator comes.  Inside it looks like the interior of an ambulance, but it is also a bathroom.  On the opposite wall I entered there is a panel of buttons.  I get the impression that the elevator opens on both sides and that the theatre is connected to a hospital.

The elevator returns to my floor and I get out.  My friend's children are there and before I can do anything they slip inside the elevator and the door closes surprisingly fast.  I freak out a little, but then I remember that they the elevator will come back.  I look down on the floor and I see that the children have left their pies on the floor by the elevator.  My friend shows up and the elevator returns.  We all move to our seats.

I wake.


Note:  The bathroom theme repeating here is the same as usual, but not as urgent.  However, I did wake with a full bladder.  Also of note is that the presence of a theatre in my dreams is usually an indicator of stress and chaos.  In this dream however, I am in the audience where as in my stressful theatre dreams I am either on stage or in the rafters of the theatre.